I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize