i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
i believe in u and ur pee
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize
