Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
