dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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