Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
