You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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