one might say we're banned from that church
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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