that's an acceptable place to lick
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
