Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize