im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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