My nipple is on Facebook.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
