bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
