I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize