I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Randomize
