Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
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