My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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