So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I think my moral compass just broke
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