And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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