Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
