She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Randomize
