I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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