Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
