I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I wish i was in the wii world.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
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