my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you didnt know i had herpes?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
