yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize
