I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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