If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
