weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
