Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
