spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
