Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
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