i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Randomize
