Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
