I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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