i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
