how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
