Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Randomize
