he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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