did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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