I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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