I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
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