Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
