I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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