I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
