this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
