shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
