she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize