I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
We need to get me chipped asap
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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