Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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