I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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