I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
