My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
