What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
