at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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