Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
My bed smells like the plague
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
