It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
