I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
