his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Randomize
