Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Randomize
